*Hello, my friendly blog reader!! Instead of writing the Inspirational word of the week, I’m writing about the Build your confidence series. The past few weeks I’ve written about the first steps, 1. Desire a sense of possibility, 2. Encourage compassion and accountability, 3. Promote motivation, communication and education and 4. Make it small and simple until it’s do-able. You can click the links to read about them. Today we move on to the fifth step.*
For a long time I was one of those people that just had to be right all the time. It didn’t matter what the conversation was about, if I knew the answer or (God forbid) caught someone voicing an opinion I thought was ‘wrong’, I just had to make sure they knew that I was RIGHT, dammit! And I was persistent. In fact, my first marriage was a constant battle to be right over and above all else. It was a completely miserable existence, one I’m glad to be done with.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that being right really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve learned that criticizing people and their opinions is just a cover-up for insecurity, and a desperate need to be recognized. At best, all I was ever left with was a hollow victory that drove people away. I’m terribly embarrassed and sorry for all of the hurt feelings I’ve caused over the years. I’m doing my best to recognize my patterns and actively trying to change them.
So, instead of focusing on being right all the time, I’ve found it’s much more productive and WAY more fun to recognize the joy of life. To focus on the good in order to create the best life this world has to offer! And the returns are fantastic!! Laughter, smiles, relaxation, courage and joy have taken the place of alienation, shame, guilt and frustration.
“If you only focus on being right, you miss out on everything else that’s left to look forward to.”
For instance, in my new job. I’ll admit there are parts that I’m really not fond of, like wearing make-up every day and making phone call after phone call only to be told no, over and over. Ugh. However, the parts that I do like, my co-workers, meeting new people, getting out of the office and choosing my own schedule help to make up for the other stuff. I’m not saying there aren’t days that suck. They do. But over all, I know that I’ve been given a chance to help my family and my community. I help my family financially and my community by linking local businesses with the new home-owners moving in to the area. I enjoy feeling productive and helpful and that helps me get through the tough days.
I feel much more confident now. Since I’m treating people with kindness, respect and admiration, most people reflect that attitude back to me. For those that don’t, I try not to take it personally. After all, I know where they’re coming from. I used to be there too.
How do you recognize enjoyment in your life, my friendly blog reader?
I’d love to read about your joy in the comments below!
p.s. I’ll be back next week to wrap up the Build your Confidence series!