Letting go of expectations

scream-paintingI hate disappointing people.

So much.

For a long time I allowed this fear to stop me from doing stuff. Like writing my very first blog while we lived in Brazil. I was so worried that it would suck, that I didn’t post on it more than a handful of times. Now that we’re back home, I wish I’d had more confidence to at least try. My lady-friend Jenny is doing a phenomenal job with her blog, and if you’re interested in seeing what it’s really like to live in the state of Rio de Janiero today, you should definitely check it out here. (Say Hi to Jenny for me! :))

Over the last 3 years, I’ve written on this blog consistently, trying to get over my fears…. like my fear of writing crap, my fear of being stagnant and my fear of being a disappointment to myself and others. Fortunately my writing has improved (consistent practice really does help everything) and I’ve been lucky to not have any trolls make rude comments about my less than stellar posts.

But even as I sit down to write this blog post today, my friendly blog reader, I still feel that same twinge of fear that comes from my own expectations. Especially since I launched my book project last week, I’ve been struggling with letting go of the what ifs.  What if I run out of supporters before I get to my goal? What if my book disappoints someone and they write a bad review? What if I screw up getting the book out to people? What if.…..

*ugh*

Then I read this from Kristin Noellerighthererightnow01

and I felt better because that describes exactly where I am right now. Out beyond anyplace I’ve ever been before. Of course it’s scary, but most importantly, it’s exciting!

Then I read this poem by Danielle LaPorte titled You’re going to hurt someone…..

You’re going to hurt other people.
Even though you don’t want to.
Even though you don’t mean to.
To no fault of your own.
You’re going to hurt someone.

We’re all bumping up against each other with our cravings and sensibilities,
reaching clumsily for fulfillment.
We bond and then unbind.
We stretch our arms to grab more life,
and we give someone a black eye.

Egos get hurt; vows are broken; fires doused.
Becoming whole leaves breakage.

Why does it help to know the inevitability of hurting someone?

It helps to know of this inevitability
so that you don’t retreat when you need to lift off,
so that you choose to leave the house of familiarity
for Morocco, or Broadway, or love.
Or the center of your Soul.

It helps to know how nature works when you are exploring wilderness.

and I thought about how far I’ve come.

Quite far, indeed.

Beating myself up with unfair expectations just sabotages my confidence and deflates my soul. Focusing on what I can do and taking care of myself will make me feel much better while displacing the fear and expectations.

I’m so incredibly blessed. I thank God (Allah, the Universe, the Divine, the Source, the Force, call it whatever you like) for sending these messages of support through these incredible ladies and for all of the support I have gotten for my Boat book project. It’s been just over a week and I’m already at 37% of my goal! :)

So for now I pray for Grace and Finesse and focus on letting go of expecting anything, good or bad.

I’ll work on replacing my fear with savoring my life.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this, my friendly blog reader.

If you haven’t already, make sure you check out Kristin Noelle ——->kristin-noelle

danielle-laporte and Danielle LaPorte.

They’re both awesome!

xoxo Pam

p.s. So far I’ve sold 53 You’re the Boat books, 19 workbooks and 2 coaching sessions! WooHoo!! Go click the link on the widget in the upper right corner to see the project! xoxo

p.p.s. And tell your friends!

In response to the stormy seas of life, my husband Blake and I have created this website to be a Current of Inspiration, a wave of love and joy to wash away hate and fear. By posting every week, it's our commitment to making our world a better place. We hope you find it uplifting and will share it with your friends! Thanks for stopping by! xoxo

Posted in Expatriate living, Words Tagged with: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*