Breakdown => Breakthrough

home-dohYou’d think I’d have learned by now.

When I get really stuck, trying to do more and more and more to fix whatever it is that’s driving me crazy, I end up breaking down, losing my shit. (excuse my language, but you know what I mean) only to give up and FINALLY let go and come out on the other side stronger and wiser.

Like last spring, when I had myself spread too thin and my lady-friends had a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting with me. Yeah, that kinda sucked. But it was that ‘suck’ that created the space I needed within myself to grow. My ego couldn’t do anymore, and in fact, was just getting in the way.

Yeah, that happened again but instead of beating myself up I’m just glad (beyond relieved, actually) to be moving forward. FINALLY!!

So here’s the story…..

tongue-out-in-effortAs most of you know I’ve been struggling to finish putting together my KickStarter project. I’ve had issues getting the video made (HUGE issues) but I finally did it!!!  With help, I finally got it put together, written up and then submitted to KickStarter for their review……..and they declined it.

Ouch :(

And after the day I’d already had, (up early, vacuuming for 5 hours, then picking up dog poop and answering endless phone calls when I really just needed a power nap) I hit bottom.

While I sat at my desk crying big, sloppy tears, sobbing over all my hard work and under-appreciated efforts, my darling husband goes on-line and looks up other crowd-funding websites. Of course he found a bunch and sent them to my e-mail, knowing I’d get to them after I took my time feeling sorry for myself. Which I did.

I also posted about it on FaceBook and got quite a few comments of support. More than I really expected. My Mom even called me the next morning. It felt nice and a bit humbling to know how many people reached out to help.

As I stretched out on my yoga mat the next morning, I set my intention to just let go. Let go of the pain, the frustration,childs-pose-yoga the fear and all the other crap that felt like a big, pointy, lump in my stomach.

About halfway through class, during an extended child’s pose, I felt it. That movement that I had prayed for. It came through as tears combined with a feeling of gratefulness. I still had a finished book, a website and lots of people who support me. I didn’t have to go back to square one. I just needed to find an alternate route.

So once I got home, I looked at my e-mails and lo and behold, there were a lot of other sites to look at. I looked around for about half an hour and then settled on GoFundMe.com because of it’s simplicity. All I needed was a picture, a few minutes to write up the story, set the rewards and Voila! I finally, FINALLY got my project launched out into the world on October 18 at 3:25pm.  And it only took me about half an hour to put the whole thing together. No video, no board review needed.

fox-sniffing-dandelionThe lesson I hope I can hold onto here is….. when I start to feel overwhelmed with how complicated life is getting, I need to stop, get back to the essence of what I’m trying to do and let that be enough.

Thanks God for this blog, because hopefully writing this down here for you to see, my friendly blog reader, will help me (and you) learn this lesson.

Simple is good.

In the meantime, go check out my project!! Click  here (gofundme)  to see it!

And if you have a project you’d like to launch out into the world, definitely consider using GoFundMe. You’ll be up and running in no time! :)

Have a most wonderful weekend, my friendly blog readers!!

Thank you for all of your love and support! I appreciate it more than I can say!!!

xoxoxooxxoox Pam

p.s. Thanks to Susan Piver for her words of wisdom…...”Letting go of knowing is the root of wisdom”. Brilliant!

In response to the stormy seas of life, my husband Blake and I have created this website to be a Current of Inspiration, a wave of love and joy to wash away hate and fear. By posting every week, it's our commitment to making our world a better place. We hope you find it uplifting and will share it with your friends! Thanks for stopping by! xoxo

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