After making a terrible mistake in which I said something that hurt a friend of mine last year, I learned a very valuable lesson. Although I sincerely felt sorry and tried to apologize, she was adamant that I couldn’t possibly be really sorry. She didn’t believe my apology was sincere and absolutely refused to accept it.
Long story short, the very valuable lesson I learned from going through that ordeal was that if I needed forgiveness, I would have to find it for myself, within myself. I couldn’t waste my life waiting for her forgiveness. I had to look deep into my own heart and accept myself for being the flawed human that I am. She couldn’t and wouldn’t do it, so I had to allow myself the time to heal.
That exposed place in my heart, which felt like a fresh wound, had to be filled in by something else. Now looking back, I realize it was an opportunity for the Divine to move in. Of course it was painful, it was really deep. We’d been friends for years. But it was necessary for me to move beyond feeling safe into a new territory of expansive growth.
There was a reason we weren’t supposed to be friends anymore and I just had to learn to accept that. In order to continue on my own path, I had to let go of this long-time friendship and move on. It was tough at first. My heart ached and I felt lost, hurt and more than a little scared.
However, here I am a year later and although I am really sincerely sorry for what I said, I’m not sorry I’ve moved on. I love my life, my new found freedom and the new friends I’ve made. I’ve forgiven myself and moved on and it feels really good.
If you are going through something similar, my friendly blog reader, don’t give up hope. You will feel better once you’ve gotten through the process of forgiving yourself. You have brighter days ahead with fresh opportunities just waiting for you. I guarantee it.
I wish you a wonderful day!
p.s. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.